Uncle Aaron Reads Again

In a faraway land filled with magical balloons, a dark presence shadowed the sky. An evil wizard was building a giant hot-air balloon in order to enslave all the other balloons.

This hot air balloon was ingeniously designed to release a foul smell, resembling that of a tour bus bathroom, when attacked.

And because of the smell, people all over the world fell in love, resulting in nearly 5 billion weddings on one day (a new Guinness World Record).

One of these weddings in particular was of utmost interest to a few Zoborgs, who, when they received news of this worldwide explosion of weddings decided they should take matters into their own hands...

So they enlisted the most prominent members of their society, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, to infiltrate the happy occasions and wreak havoc...Vince and Owen went on to wreak havoc by painting lime green horses and neon pink cows. After that they went to paint ducks navy blue and Pistol Pete Crimson and Cream.

This made Pistol Pete very angry, so he went on a tyrannical rampage, imprisoning all the navy blue ducks and forcing them to eat chicken livers and non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiris.

Pistol Pete took a bath, scrubbing his skin until it was raw, yet the crimson and cream would not come off.

Pete was shocked and angry but still determined to proceed with his heinous plans. In a fit of rage he decided to make the treacherous plan even more treacherous. Now the navy blue ducks would have to eat pigs foot and construct a tower made primarily of cocoa.

So away they toiled, late into the night, until it was done - a giant chocolate tower in the shape of our choir director's husband. They worshiped it every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm for generations to come. The end.