My Saturday

It is Saturday morning - early/ My alarm clock goes off/

The
world
slowly
becomes
less
foggy



I drag myself into the shower/


Dress/ With heels/


Pull hair into a tight bun/


Take special care with makeup/


Walk down the driveway/


Shivering, I pull my coat tighter around me/


Slide into the car at half past 6:00a/m/





It is hours later now and we have arrived at our destination/ Wave goodbye to the last familiar face in a sea of people drifting around/ I disappear into the crowd/ I walk through a giant steel door to face my greatest enemy - myself/


Okay, where am I on this chilly Saturday in October?



Athens High School, Texas/



I am at the Texas Honor Choir auditions, about to have the scariest five minutes of my short life/ Waiting in the cafeteria/ I am the only homeschooler out of the hundreds of kids around me/ I take another sip of water and force myself not to think too much about the auditions/ I pick up a book and begin to read/


Hours later, my number is called/ The time has come/ My fingers are white from clutching my music folder too tightly/ I walk -- s l o w l y -- down the concrete hall/ I see a hand reaching out to open the door of a tiny, unimportant classroom somewhere in the state of Texas/ It is my own hand/

The door shuts behind me/


Clang/


The hundreds of kids in the cafeteria no longer matter/ The only people in the world now are me and the five judges waiting, unseen behind the curtain/ I imagine snarls --

no! no! They want me to sing well/

Ha/ Very funny/


"C-12-29, are you ready?" The voice is so loud, I jump/


Boom boom/ My heart pounding/


I sing through the cuts////no major mistakes////a few bobbled rhythms////my voice is shaking/


I walk out of the room, amazingly still alive and move quickly down the hall to the gym where I will spend the rest of my day

waiting////
sleeping////
eating Milky Ways/////
drinking water////
thinking of the world outside where sunlight must exist///

Well, at least I have nothing to be worried about - when they announce the names of those lucky people, endowed with voices of angels, who are lucky enough to make the choir - I won't have to be nervous about anything/ I know I haven't made the choir/ I sang poorly/ I never had the ability to sing well anyways - silly waste of time/

A very bored looking man steps up to the mic - oh, so now we're going to hear it/ My gaze travels around the room, friends, huddled together in groups////all so pointless/ Those who make the Honor Choir get to go to some other town, sing all day, perform one concert, put in on their resumé, and that's the end of the line/ *sigh*

Guess what/

I made it/

8th chair/

Out of 37!

If you'd a told me that as I exited that classroom, I'd a laughed at you

The ride home was peaceful and serene/ Accomplishment was in the air, celebratory ice cream in our hands/ A quiet sort of happiness/

What a day/