Really Sick

Some of you know that I have an evil youth minister. His favorite pastime is to invent cruel games with mandatory participation, such as three-legged races on the roof of buildings, Frisbee Golf in a pit of mud a foot and a half thick, and inventions we have to create that allow you to be suspended from rooftops for an hour. I remember once when we had to stack our team of 10 in a two foot square. But his favorites are the Eating Games. We always know when those are coming, because he grins smugly at us and says "Hell is coming upon you as we speak," or some other dreadful speech. We've eaten chocolate covered jalapenos, Big Mac shakes, and glasses of blended anchovies mixed with buttermilk. Yes, the memories of such games are a horror for all of us. Last night we were blessed with another Eating Game. The object was to be the first to down a whole gallon of prune jello through a straw. My competitive spirit pushed aside thoughts of the repelling black goo in front of me and I dove in. Twenty minutes later I sunk to the floor, losing by four measly seconds. For any of you that may be wondering, I have had pleasanter nights.