Dear Abby

11-24-07
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20071124

DEAR ABBY: I haven't had a boyfriend
for a while now,and I'm not sure why.
Everyone says I'm cool, funny and
outgoing. I play video games, sports,
and do things that boys think girls
would never do (like paintballing in
the woods or bungee jumping over and
over again). All my guy friends think
I'm awesome, and I do get compliments
on my looks as well. I'm not a tomboy,
I wear nice clothes and some makeup,
but for some reason,whenever I get a
crush on a guy, he says it would be
"weird" because I'm a "really good
friend." What am I doing wrong? I love
who I am and so do boys. So why don't
they think I could be "girlfriend material"?
-- BOYFRIENDLESS IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR BOYFRIENDLESS: It may be that
"guys" see you as one of them. And
because of it, they don't consider you in
a romantic way. Therefore, it's time to
emphasize your feminine side and present
yourself in a different light. This may
mean temporarily downplaying your
involvement in boys' sports and paintball
games, and amping up your "girlishness."
Give it a try and see what happens.

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Boy. I do not regularly read this column, but every now and then I glance at the titles. This particular one I did read, and it is quite interesting. Everyone has heard that if guys see you as "one of them" they won't date you. I'm not confirming or denying this, but it's the following advice that I consider terrible.

I can just see what will happen: the girl will begin wearing tons of heavy makeup, glitter and pink, quit playing paintball, etc, and what will happen? Her guy friends will think she's totally flipped out and completely avoid her. Result #1: Loss of friends. She will not be acting like her true self, feel uncomfortable all the time, and people who know her will think she's a fake. The guys she likes won't ask her out because of this. Result #2: No boyfriend anyway. If she does get asked out, it will most likely be by someone who only goes for the girly babes, and that's not what she really is, so that will be a mess. Result #3: Bad dating relationship. And finally, she'll probably get to a point where she can't keep it up anymore, and has a difficult time just slipping back to where she was, and this will end up as Result #4: Loss of identity.

This is all just speculative, of course, but really, I see no good end to this. She should just chill and wait. She'll find her guy. :-)

"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry." - Psalm 40:1 NIV

--

Last Wednesday we went ice skating downtown with the youth group, which was fun. We almost didn't make it, as we found out a little late there was a "hole in the interstate," whatever that means. Cars were backed up as far as the eye could see, anyway, but we managed to find a convenient off-ramp.

It was only my second ever attempt at ice skating (a fact some people could not believe, because of course everyone ice skates regularly) but I was a pretty fair roller blader, so after a wobbly couple of laps, I did quite well and did not fall. I did hit a rut once and almost hit the ice, but was saved by falling into someone else and almost pushing them to the ice. lol.

-----

Friday my sister and I spent some time down at the Baptist Hospital decorating for an organ donor and recipient party that will happen tonight. Our job was to put up five Christmas trees, and deck them out with lights, beads, and the homemade ornaments donated by transplant patients of the years. It was pretty neat to read all the inscriptions; little bits of the people's stories.

We were given a tote bag full of promotional items when we left, including a t-shirt, SPF 30 chap stick, a journal, hand sanitizer, lotion, a stapler, pen, post-it notes, nail files and dental floss. :-)

----

Today is the first Sunday in Advent. We light one candle for Hope.

Isaiah 60:2 (NASB)
"For behold, darkness will cover the earth
And deep darkness the peoples;
But the LORD will rise upon you
And His glory will appear upon you.”

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